If you feel like you have an overwhelming number of things to do –– it might be true. 

If you feel like you can never clear the deck for more than a moment — it’s probably true.

If you can’t keep all your ducks in the row –– you’re not alone.

All of these are true for me. And the challenge I’ve needed to step into is acknowledging that I really can’t do everything I want to do. 

It is “possible for a person to have an overwhelming number of things to do.” David Allen: Getting Things Done 

You’ve probably seen the demonstration. The speaker comes in holding a container filled with large rocks, small rocks, and dirt. 

They pour everything out of the container onto a table and then begin to fill it – with first the dirt, then the small rocks, finally the large rocks. 

Now everything will not fit in.

The moral of their story is, first you put in the big rocks the important things, then you can add the small things around them. 

Prioritize the big things, and then everything will fit in your life. 

What the demonstrator fails to tell us is that there’s an enormous number of large rocks waiting under the table. As well as more small rocks and dirt.

In reality the container is too small to fit it all. 

“Our days are spent trying to ‘get through’ tasks, in order to get them ‘out of the way,’ with the result that we live mentally in the future, waiting for when we’ll finally get around to what really matters.” Oliver Burkeman 

 Challenge #1 Accepting Reality: I can’t do it all.

For me, it’s been hard accepting this reality. But when I finally admitted that I will never be able to get everything done that I want to do in my life – it was a sweeping relief. 

I was able to release myself from a pact which I had made with the impossible. 

Even Jesus in his earthly life, did not heal everyone or go everywhere.

I also received a sense of freedom and empowerment. I can’t fit all the rocks in my small container, but I do have the power to choose a few and release the rest. 

The question is, “Which rocks do I keep and which ones do I release?”

Challenge #2 Choosing what really matters

The dilemma that most of us struggle with is actually a double one. 

Not only must we distinguish the large and important things in our life from the more trivial things that take our time – the large rocks from small rocks and dirt. We must also distinguish which of the too many large rocks we value the most. 

For me, it feels like an impossible task to distinguish the very most important from the somewhat important. 

And in fact, it is an impossible task.

A vital skill for decision-making and rock-selecting is predicting the future. What will happen if I pick this rock instead of that rock?

Researchers tell us that we humans are quite bad at predicting the future.

The good news: Though we cannot predict the future, we have been given a great deal of skill to influence the present.

This means that once we have chosen a rock to prioritize, we have the ability to make that choice a good one. We can lean into that choice and make it work well.

Rather than waste your time being stressed over making the right decision, make the decision right.    Ellen Langer Harvard U. Professor

Divine Assistance Needed

More Good News: We have a valuable Counselor who can predict the future: God’s Holy Spirit. The Spirit of Wisdom.

If you also feel, as I do,  that you have an overwhelming number of important things you would like to do – our first step forward is to spend some time conversing with the God of wisdom. In God’s good company we can ask questions to evaluate our various important options. We can ask for guidance in a selection. 

Here is a list of questions people have asked to tackle this topic. 

• What is deeply meaningful to me? 
• If I could no longer _________________, what I would miss the most is ___________.
• If I could become skilled at one thing  –  what would it be?
• Does this feel like a call or invitation from God?
• How much will this matter in 5 or 10 years?
• Is this my highest point of contribution?
• Is this necessary?

When I asked these questions I was met with some surprises. There were rocks/ values that I did not expect to see on the high priority list. For example, play ranked higher than I have ever placed it. Conversing with the Holy Spirit can bring surprises. 

 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. James 1:5

 Challenge #3 Prioritizing and Neglecting

After we’ve selected a very few important rocks, we arrive at our third challenge: How can we prioritize some of the big rocks, and neglect many of the small rocks, dirt and even other big rocks.

There are a number of techniques we can use for this. Here are four that other people have used.

• Schedule your important rocks first. 
• Increase your ability to kindly and firmly say no – not just to the things you don’t want to do, but also to some of the things you do want to do, but that are of lesser value to you. 
• Embrace the fact that you will be underachieving in some areas in order to focus on things that are more important to you. (This one is a game changer for me.)
• Limit the number of projects/activities you are involved in.

Soul Sculpting Project: Prioritizing Rocks

1. Acknowledge the freeing reality that you are finite and can not do it all.
2. Spend some time in conversation with God’s Holy Spirit discussing what is really important to both of you. What gives meaning to your life? What matters? 
3. Spend some time pondering with the Holy Spirit what strategies you can use to prioritize the important and neglect the less important.
4. Enjoy spending time on a rock that really, really matters to you. 

We are, of course, already making a choice as to which rocks to put in our time, either intentionally or by default. I would prefer to be making that choice intentionally. So I’m bringing all my finite fallibility to the Holy Spirit and spending some time seeking wisdom. 

Best of all, I am enjoying more guilt-free time with the big rocks I’ve selected. It is satisfying to be spending more time/life on things that matter deeply to me.

My gratitude for the research and reflections of  Oliver Burkeman Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals 

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12