Soul Sculpting Project: The Unlikely Practice of Welcoming Unwanted Emotions

Fear, grief, worry, regret, dread, gloom . . . are not welcome guests for me. They show up at the door anyway and push their way in. Today I invite you into the unlikely practice of welcoming the unwanted guests.

As you have noticed, these guests come on in whether we welcome them or not. So since they are here let’s try a new way to relate to them.

Before we put out the welcome mat I will offer a few ‘tricks’ to put up your sleeve. Some skills that will come in handy as we relate to these guests.

Science Tricks

First Trick: The power of approach, rather than avoidance.

• Avoidance drains our mental and physical energy.
• Approach brings us into a state of mind which is more creative, resourceful, and energizing.

Second Trick: Name it to tame it

• Using our linguistic skill to regulate our emotions.

Third Trick: Emotional intelligence

• Getting to know our emotions in detail gives us tools to manage and adjust our emotions.

Even more valuable than the ‘tricks’/skills is the fact that we will not be alone when we open the door.

Our dog Wiggie was quite small and our neighbor dogs were quite large. When Wiggie encountered these dogs on a walk he was quiet and polite. He found big dogs intimidating and just wished they would go away without speaking (or sniffing). However, when Wiggie was riding in our large truck the tables had turned in his mind. Wiggie + big truck = bravery. Wiggie knew he was safe so whenever we drove past the neighbor dogs Wiggie would bark his challenges with gusto.

As we welcome our intimidating guests today we will not do it alone. Me + Jesus = bravery. I am safe.

Soul Sculpting Project: Welcoming Unwanted Emotions

Step #1

• Invite God’s presence.
• Put on your imaginary white lab coat.

Now that you can see yourself in your lab coat and God right with you it is time to begin research.

Step #2

• Welcome in the next negative emotion that comes your way.

Be curious. Examine the emotion in detail. How does it feel in your body? What mental story goes with this emotion? What parts of the story are more fiction than fact? How helpful is this emotion? Ask God’s thoughts.

When you have completed you examination as thoroughly as you wish, it is time to move on to the final step.

Step #3

• Let go of the emotion. Just hand it over to God.

If I the emotion boomerangs back, begin the process again. Welcome the emotion, get to know the boomerang version and then hand it into God’s willing Hands.

“Cast all your cares on God, because God cares about you” Our emotions matter to God. (1 Pet. 5:7)

I have found this unlikely prayer method helpful because some negative emotions are frequent visitors and the better I know them – the better I can manage their visits. I have more control. I hope you will find it helpful as well.

My thanks to Mary Mrozowski the developer of Welcoming Prayer.