Sculpting Project 26: Welcoming Prayer

I was sitting with the worship team listening to the prelude music when I notice the wave of grief approaching. Heidi, our elderly mother goat had died early that morning, leaving two little kids to our care. I had milked Heidi many years and we were well acquainted. The last few months of caring for Heidi had been challenging. I was sad and tired. As I sat in this public place and felt grief approaching my first thought was to send it away. I had no interest in welcoming grief. In fact I don’t remember ever wanting to welcome grief. It came as an unwelcome guest.

But this week I had been working on a prayer method called Welcoming Prayer. We were still in the prelude so I was free from responsibility for a few more minutes. I decided to Welcome the grief. The results took me by surprise.

A Little History

Welcoming Prayer was developed by Mary Mrozowski in the 1980’s. Mary put together ideas from Pierre de Caussade’s 17^th century classic Abandonment to the Divine Providence and Centering Prayer. Centering Prayer is an ancient Christian prayer method made accessible to us by Thomas Keating.

Our Tool Box

When negative emotions come to visit our usual reaction is avoidance. Why would we want to open the door and invite in an unpleasant guest?

Because we have 2 brain tools and God’s caring presence with us as we open the door.

First Tool

Say, the guest of chronic pain or worry comes to call. We have two choices.

1. Use our brain’s approach system or
2. Use our brain’s avoidance system.

Usually we choose the avoidance system and we flee, fight or freeze. We move into red alert. Does this solve our chronic pain or worry. Probably not or it wouldn’t be chronic.

Considering that the guest is already there whether we like it or not. And we don’t like it. Why not try a new brain system. The approach system. This moves us out of red alert into the green light zone of pursuit and befriend. This system puts us on the offensive, provides a capacity for creative problem solving and new skills for managing this frequent visitor.

Second tool

Name it to tame it. Our left brain linguistic skills have the demonstrated ability to calm the emotional centers our limbic firings. So, if we use language to identify our concern we can calm down emotions.

Third tool

God’s caring powerful presence.

Wiggie was small and as he aged he finally got smart enough to not take on the big dogs. But when ever we drove by a big dog in our big truck, Wiggie called out his challenges and declared his dominance. Why the sudden burst of bravery? He knew he was surrounded by a big protecting truck. You and I are constantly surrounded by the powerful, caring love of our God. His perfect love casts out all fear. (1 John 4:18 ).

Welcoming Prayer opens the door to pain and difficult emotions with these two tools in hand and God’s caring powerful presence surrounding us.

How to do Welcoming Prayer:

Step 1: Become a curious scientist.

When a pain or emotion comes to your attention put on your lab coat and approach it with curiosity. What exactly is happening? Where in your body do you feel this pain/emotion? Describe it in detail.

Burning, stabbing, fiery, clenching. . .? Does it come and go in waves? Where do you not feel this pain?

My experience is that many emotional and physical pains shy away from this scrutiny and exit before I can get a close examination finished. In a recent prayer time I had the comical experience of finding myself saying, “Wait, come back, I haven’t finished studying you yet.”

For the pains that stick around for this examination we can move to:

Step 2: Let go of this emotional/physical pain and hand it off to Jesus. We can hand all of our cares to our loving God because He cares about us. (1 Peter 5:7) Our pains and emotions matter to God.

Boomerangs: After we hand it over to Jesus sometimes it boomerangs back to us. When that happens we just begin with step 1 again. Welcome the boomerang version and examine this interesting variation. When you complete your examination let go and put it in Jesus’ willing hands.

Sculpting Project: Welcoming Prayer

Take a few minutes to sit with God and let your mind wander.

When a pain or unwanted emotion comes to visit.

1: Welcome it and examine it as thoroughly as you wish.

2: Let it go and hand it over to Jesus.

As I sat in the sanctuary listening to the prelude music I welcomed the incoming wave of grief. I observed the sensations in my body. The feeling surprised me. This welcomed grief was very different from my experience of suppressed grief. Certainly sad, but it had a rich sweetness/fullness as well. The duration of this grief’s visit also surprised me. In 2-3 minutes it was gone.

New griefs will come my way and this one may visit again, but I am now more open to welcome them and I am grateful for the sweet surprise this grief held.